Its been awhile since the Bear dropped knowledge and wisdom upon the masses well today is the day and I am coming out with a bang a manly bang, thing that men should know bang.
So fella’s listen up…
1) Chapstick is the weird albino cousin to lipstick so when picking out some you don’t need popping sour candy apple, or raspberry twist ok motherfucker? seriously when even your girlfriend looks at you funny you need to take a step back…way back. Also if it has balm in the name cherry lip balm or melon berry lip balm you need to do like 36 mafia says a kill your self. OH and don’t ask your local produce guy who is trying to work which one he thinks is better because I kill lame animals, I can’t stand to see them suffer.
2) If you are going shopping for you ol’lady or mother, or some female associate or family member know what the hell they are looking for, and if you don’t know what a fucking Kiwi is, just know its the small brown fuzzy thing you call a brain.
3) This is something on a more serious note that all guys should know. YOU ARE NOT THE HOT ONE OF THE RELATIONSHIP! you are lucky to have the lady at your side, you cold be a 40 year old virgin playing with Ninja Turtle figures pissed off in the basement cause Nick still hasn’t put are you afraid of the dark back on the air during the 90’s is all that block.
Treat her right fellas if that means going to see that last Twilight movie(god forbid she tortures you in such a way) then do it and don’t bitch about it cause if you can get through such things then the land of milk and honey awaits you afterward…but no seriously if i see or hear another dude complaining about what his ol’lady won’t do or watch or what ever I am gonna rip his testies off and let my gay friends use them as beer pong balls csause you obviously aren’t man enough to realize the women makes the man JACKASS.
Join me BigBear the next time I spits worth the vitriol that is things men should know…